I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
