okay pat passed out under dana's car
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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