ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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