Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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