so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
