His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Enjoy the penises
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
