my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize