Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
