did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
