dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
