You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
