Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The Olympian is in my bed
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