I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
