ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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