Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
