I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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