just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize