Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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