Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
