So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
