i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
