I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
pop tarts are not kleenex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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