I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Four minutes until I can fart!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
