does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize