I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
