Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize