i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
