I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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