Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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