he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
