this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
