New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
