Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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