I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
