id be glad to
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
