Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize