so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
