Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
