dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
