This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
