it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
