Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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