woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All the doctor said was why
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
