Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
