piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
