I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
