my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
