i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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