i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
