Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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