Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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