i jhust puked up my retainher.
You can't special order awesome
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
