when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
