Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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