question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
