Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
